Starting November 12, you're invited to weekly cross-training romps through a selection of Portland's finest parks. It's winter and cold and dark, but that doesn't mean you need to sit around and get bloblike. Through a combination of calisthenics, running drills, stair climbs, pullups, and a variety of other modern torture devices, we'll keep you active and fit until spring.

Using elements of each individual park, like horseshoe pits and lighted courts, Jeff Henderson (and, occasionally, other guest coaches) will craft an hour workout each week that will straddle the line of hilarious and ridiculous. This is meant to be dirty, sweaty, comical, whimsical, and exhausting - sort of like sex but in public.

According to Parks, this can't be open to the public. So you need to be invited. To get invited, send an email to pitp-subscribe@lists.portlandtri.com and each week I will invite the list.

Each workout will begin at 6pm SHARP. They'll take place across the city (exact meeting locations can be found here), according to the following schedule:

November 12: Waterfront Park
November 19: Mt. Tabor Park
November 25: Sellwood Park (note: this is a Wednesday)
December 3: Washington Park
December 10: Laurelhurst Park
January 7: Irving Park
January 14: Peninsula Park
January 21: South Park Blocks
January 28: Waterfront Park

Here's a map showing meeting locations for each week. (Zoom in and click the markers for exact meeting locations.)

Jeff Henderson is the organizer of the annual Freshwater Trust Portland Triathlon. He is not a coach but knows a thing or two about being active, and he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Occasionally we will be led by Dr. Chris Ramsey, a practicing physical therapist from Boston who recently relocated to Portland. For over a decade he has provided instrumental rehabilitation to Olympic, professional, elite, and amateur athletes across a range of sports including triathlon, rowing, volleyball, track and field, and Nordic skiing. Chris earned his bachelor's in Kinesiology from the Univ. of Colorado and his Master's and Doctoral degrees in PT from the MGH Institute of Health Professions in Boston. He is a certified Orthopedic Clinical Specialist by the American Board of Physical Therapy Specialties. He began coaching triathletes 15 years ago, his sport of choice for nearly 20 years. He has raced 13 Ironman triathlons (PR of 9:10), has qualified for the Hawaii Ironman World Championships 6 times, and has multiple world and national championship qualifications in all distances. (contact Chris at drchrisramsey@gmail.com)

All you need is sneakers and play clothes. Come out and mess around for an hour, then go home and hug your spouse warmly before hopping in the shower.